Surviving

Victoria did as she was told and smiled when she felt the warmth work into her hands. "Thank you... uhm... yes, I thought it'd get better but it still hurts a lot and when I breathe lately it's really hard..." She stopped talking when he started to look at her closely. She really liked her oncologist, he was always extremely kind to her and managed to cheer her up when she was feeling at her worst. "I guess the pain killers help a little bit..." Victoria gave a tired sigh and looked at him. "Will I be okay?"

After looking at the back of her throat while she spoke, Michael dropped the pen in his lab coat. "Look up for me..." He said, then began to feel of her throat, making sure there was no swelling there. Once satisfied, he rolled back a bit and offered her a gentle smile. "You'll be very okay. You have a little bit of swelling in the back of your throat from all of the coughing, so I'll write you a prescription for that. Also, if you don't mind going through the work of heating it up and all of that, a bit of honey in a warm drink should help sooth your throat. I'll write you something to numb it a bit back there so you won't have the urge to cough so much, and that should give it some time to heal. Are you having any chest pain at all?" He asked, pulling out a prescription pad. He began to write as he spoke to her. "How are you holding up emotionally? I see your friend isn't here with you today... do you not have anyone else?" He really hoped she did have someone else... that was something really important for cancer patients. They needed a strong support group, and they needed to be surrounded by loving, caring friends. The best medicine in the world couldn't heal hurt hearts.

"Yeah, sometimes it hurts really bad... like it flares up and then it goes away." Victoria answered, and then when he asked about her emotions, she looked down at her hands that were still holding what he gave her to warm them up with. "Honestly, I'm not holding up very well. I try to keep a brave face on for Anissa, but she just gets upset a lot... she's working today. The rest of my family is overseas so I don't have anyone else. I've talked to them, but no one can afford to come and I wouldn't have a place for them to stay anyway." She cleared her throat a little bit and cringed from the pain. "Anissa is all I've got."

Michael finished writing the prescriptions and sighed a little bit, giving her a good, long look. From her first appointment, he could tell that Anissa and Victoria both were very close. "Do yourself a favor, and don't do that. Don't try to be brave for her. I've watched a lot of patients wither away from the stress of that, and I've watched them lose good friendships because of it too. The worst thing either of you can do right now is hide stuff for the purpose of protecting the other. It doesn't help either of you at all, and will end up wearing you both down, and your friendship will suffer because of it." He smiled sympathetically. "This is a really scary time, and you both need each other." He removed his gloves and tossed them in the bin nearby, then rolled his stool forward, taking her hands in his. They had begun to warm up, and he was glad for that. "You're a really strong person, I can tell. You're going to beat this. It'll be a rough ride, but you'll come out on the other side with a greater understanding of things than you started with."

He let go of her hands and retrieved a pen and a business card from his breast pocket, and scrawled something on the back of it before setting it in her hands. "That's my cell phone number... I want you to call me if you ever need to talk and Anissa can't be there, or you feel like you can't talk to her. You need more than one person in your support group, so I'll be number two."

Victoria gave a slight nod, "Okay, thank you very much." She held the card as if it would blow away if she weren't careful. "I'll be good, I promise." She finally smiled at him, though it looked really tired, and then carefully got off the bed she'd been sitting on. "I'll see you at my next appointment." She took the prescription paper he'd given her and the card, then put them in her purse.

At home, she came in and shut the door behind her. It was so cold out which made her feel more rigid and cold than she usually did. Quickly, she turned on the heat and called out for Anissa. "Anissa? I'm home!" She called, walking through the apartment but not finding her roommate. She checked her room, peeking in to see that no one was there. Victoria walked in when she noticed a stack of envelopes on the bedside table, then chastised herself for being a snoop. When she approached them, she noticed that they were all addressed to Victoria Lane. She immediately grabbed up the stack and flipped through them, all of them labeled urgent and from the hospital she'd been going to for therapy and oncology appointments.

They were all bills, every single one of them. She wiped the tears from her eyes and dropped them back on the table before rushing out of the room. The recliner had become her best friend, so she crawled into it and pulled up a warm blanket over her aching body. Sobs escalated from where she'd only been crying a little bit upon finding them.

Anissa came home late that night after being dropped off by a coworker. Her car still hadn't been fixed, but she expected it to be done soon... especially since Thanksgiving had come and gone. She had thought that there was only something wrong with the battery, but there must have been more to it than that. She shut the door with a soft click and began to cross the living room to head into her own bedroom when a cold, thin hand grabbed her arm as she passed the recliner. She glanced back to see Victoria looking as tired as ever, and visibly upset to boot. She dropped her things to the floor and smiled, grabbing a second blanket to toss over her dearest friend. "Hey, Beautiful!" She tried to smile without revealing how tired she really was. "How did your appointment go? Did you see that handsome doctor man again?"

Victoria gulped against a lump in her throat and blinked the tears away, "It went okay... he gave me these things to warm up my hands and got me a prescription for my throat. Um..." She stopped and moved to sit up, getting comfortable as she next curled with the blankets over her. "You're going to be angry with me, but I found my hospital bills in your room..." She stammered, unable to stop the tears that time. For once, Anissa wasn't angry with her and she knew that it would be over then. She knew that Anissa would be angry with her all over again like she had been when Victoria's brave face was on. "I'm really sorry... I didn't mean to snoop, I'm so stupid!" She sobbed, her eyes now progressively producing more tears.

"S-Stupid?" Anissa repeated with a sad frown. She moved Victoria over, and climbed into the recliner with her after slipping out of her shoes. "You're not stupid at all... and I'm not angry with you." She was a bit disappointed, though. She had hoped to save Victoria the stress of seeing those bills. "I-It's okay, there's no need to apologize! I'm not angry with you." She pulled her best friend into a warm hug, sharing the blankets with her. "Don't worry about the bills, though. I'm going to get them all paid, so you just need to focus on getting better!"

"It doesn't help if you don't talk to me and I need to talk to you too. My doctor told me today that I can't keep putting on this brave face anymore and that I could hurt myself." Victoria sobbed, she hadn't cried like this the whole time, in fact, she'd been all smiles and encouragements, at least to the best of her ability. Unfortunately, she was exhausted and her best friend was suffering because of that. "You work so hard and here I am pretending I'm alright and I'm not!" She cried, "How can I not worry about it? You're taking on all these expenses and I'm just... I'm so sorry!!"

Anissa lifted her hand, beginning to stroke Victoria's hair. "Please, please don't apologize." Big tears were welling up in her own eyes. She'd never been very good at holding back tears while comforting someone. "I take them on because I know you'd do the same for me without a second thought!" She cried, sniffing interchangeably with Victoria. "You're so dear to me, Vicky... I'm really sorry for worrying you. I just... I've been really scared." She was sobbing terribly now, and it was likely the two of them were feeding off of each other's tears by this point.

Victoria curled up against Anissa and tried to stop crying as it was only making her throat and chest hurt much worse. "Isn't there something I can do to help at all?" She asked, closing her eyes as she got comfortable laying there. "You must be so tired because you've been so agitated lately, and all I've done is sit here and do nothing, I can't even stay up and watch a movie with you."

"I'm sorry," Anissa apologized, sniffing fairly loudly. "I never meant to direct it towards you. I'm just... I'm scared. I'm really, really scared, and I feel stretched thin. I really don't particularly mind picking up the extra work;" She began running her fingers through Victoria's hair, "It's just... I never imagined everything would be so expensive. I want to be able to let you get through this peacefully, and I've been frustrated because it feels like I can't. I-I mean, just last week my car broke down when I went to get sugar, and Doctor Johnson is paying to have it fixed for me, because I can't do that and also pay your bills... but without a guilty conscience, I can't let you just go and work... you'll stress yourself out, and you won't get better." She wiped at her eyes again. "I guess you could check those papers for grammar errors if you feel particularly restless, but please don't work yourself tired. You're going through some really hard things, and I want to be the one to support you this time." Victoria had almost always been the one supporting Anissa, and being strong throughout their friendship. This time, Anissa really wanted to give back as much as she could.

"Didn't you two go on a date recently?" Victoria asked, finally calming down, "Why do you still call him Doctor Johnson? I think he really likes you." She giggled a little bit and poked Anissa's cheek. "Anyway, I can try doing some of that work if you want me to, but I promise I won't overwork myself... I really miss you lately." Victoria looked up at the ceiling and sighed wearily, "Let's not let this happen again."

Anissa nodded her agreement, then sighed heavily. "I don't know, I just... it feels strange to call him Zachary. Actually, it feels weird to even say his name. I'm not really sure if I'm on first name, last name, or title basis." She let lose a dry kind of laugh. "He's really very sweet, though. Ever since I called him and he got my number in his phone, he doesn't let a day pass without sending me some kind of text. I really should have called him sooner than I did."

"You should invite him over." Victoria grinned, "I'm making you invite him over soon, because if he's determined to text you then I think he must really like you! So call him Zachary. Now me... I have a really stupid crush on my oncologist." She pulled the blankets further over her shoulders and shivered as if she were still freezing. "I think he treats all his patients the same way, I really shouldn't think anything of it."

Anissa gasped, then giggled, cuddling close to Victoria so she could help her warm up. She knew it'd been hard for her to stay warm lately. "Oh, Doctor Michael...?" She grinned. "He's really, really good-looking! I'm not surprised you have a crush on him... what did he do today to make your eyes sparkle like that? You look so giddy when the topic is about him!"

"This is going to sound so silly, but he held my hands..." Victoria blushed deep red and looked away as if she was embarrassed. "Th-Then he gave me his cell phone number so he could be part of my s-support group!" She gasped and hid her face beneath the blankets, giggling to herself even though it made her chest hurt. She peered back out and looked at Anissa, "Am I being silly?"

Anissa giggled, then shook her head. "I don't think you are! Z-Zachary said something very similar to me as well, come to think of it..." She felt her cheeks heat up when she said his name, and she ended up giggling with Victoria. "Have you sent him any messages yet? He's really very handsome... totally your type, if I remember correctly." She couldn't help but grin. Even if it was just a silly crush, letting her keep that crush would keep Victoria's spirits high, and that was the most important. "You should message him... take advantage of it if he wants to be in your support group, right?"

"Right." Victoria replied, hating to move away from the warmth, she reached over to the table where her phone was, grabbing it with a thin hand. She put herself back under the blankets with her head as well and began to text the number she'd already put in her phone.

Hello, this is Victoria Lane. I just wanted to tell you that I did what you said and talked to Anissa, everything is great now. Also... thank you.

She sent it and closed her phone, noticing that Anissa had been watching her text that whole time. "Eep!" She squeaked, "You're such a snoop, but I deserve that I suppose."

"I'll let you read all of Zach's texts in retaliation." She commented, pulling her phone out of her pocket and bringing up the list of messages between herself and Zachary from the last few days. She gasped though, when Victoria's phone jingled at her, and she leaned over to read the text.

I was worried you wouldn't take me seriously! I'm really glad you two were able to work things out. Thank you for letting me know. I'm always here if you need to talk. How are you feeling? Is your throat feeling better?

"Ah! The smiley, that's so cute!" Anissa snickered, trying her hardest not to wiggle excessively in the recliner. "I really think he's trying not to show how excited he really is!"

Victoria was still red in the face and then was reminded that she had completely forgotten to take the prescribed medicine. "Ugh, he'll be so sad that my throat doesn't feel better! I didn't even take the medicine yet... I got home and curled up here." She tossed the blankets aside sadly as she got up from the recliner, leaving Anissa there to go get her prescription.

She came back with a glass of water and a pill in her hand, popping it into her mouth and drinking the water quickly. "What should I say? I don't want to lie..." Victoria was clearly distressed.

Finally though, she texted him back.

I actually came home and something came up, so I forgot to take my medicine... but I took it just now. It does feel a bit better though. Other than that, I guess I am okay, thank you!

Anissa grinned, finding the conversation incredibly adorable. He wasn't able to forget he was a doctor, even in casual texting. Although, neither was Zachary. She glanced down at her phone. He was always asking her how she felt. She was now thoroughly convinced that doctors were born, not taught.

Victoria's phone jingled again.

Aww, I'm glad you've taken them now then. Text me how you feel tomorrow so I know if it's helping or not.

Another jingle came right after.

Oh, sorry... I didn't realize that sounded too doctor-ish until I sent it. But seriously, let me know if it helps or not. Anyway, I'm watching a rerun of Harry Potter... what are you up to?

"Ah!" Anissa giggled, then climbed out of the recliner. "I think it's time I quit snooping! Let's watch a movie tomorrow, since it's my day off. The daycare forced me to take tomorrow off."

Victoria nodded to Anissa as she texted her oncologist back, in disbelief that they were actually communicating in this fashion. She hadn't been smiling this big in a very long time, and it made her cheeks hurt. "What movie?" She asked.

I will! I'm going to try the honey too, like you suggested. I'm sitting with Anissa, planning a movie day for tomorrow actually! Been curled up in the blankets all night.

Again she sent the text and then glanced over to see Anissa looking at her own messages. "Soooo... how did that date go?"

Anissa's cheeks heated up in a flush, and she sucked in a lungful of air through her teeth as she flopped onto the couch nearby. "Well... he took me to this really nice restaurant. I'm really glad you had me wear that dress... otherwise I would have been so under-dressed. But anyway, he just... he never stopped smiling! It wasn't creepy though; it was really sweet. He wants to take me out again really soon... I'm supposed to tell him when, but I don't know when to ask off! How soon is too soon, and how far is too far? Maybe I should just tell him to pick a day and I'll make sure I'm free..." She forgot to reply to the question about the movie.

The honey is really good in hot coffee... that's how I use it when I have a sore throat. You should rotate blankets in the dryer to... just because they'lll keep you warmer that way. What movies? If they're good, I may copy you.

"Aww, that's so sweet!" Victoria giggled then realized she couldn't seem to stop texting Michael, her eyes were almost too focused on her phone. "Watch your schedule, tell him your next day off and then go out! I'd tell you to go tomorrow, but I'm going to be selfish." She glanced back down at her phone so she could text him back.

That sounds good, I haven't drank coffee in a while. Anissa never answered me when I asked, so I guess we'll figure it out later. I'll let you know!